


Prodigal Son

by ladyazura



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 06:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9535973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyazura/pseuds/ladyazura
Summary: She hasn’t seen Ben in person in almost two decades. He’d still been shorter than her then, with awkward, gangly limbs and sharp features that he had yet to grow into. Now he is an adult. A man. A man who has done terrible things, committed unspeakable crimes and yet, as he lies there, she can’t help but still see the little boy he once was.OR: Leia deals with the aftermath of her son's defection from the dark side and Ben struggles to figure out who he is without Snoke's influence and atone for his past transgressions.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first venture into the realm of Star Wars fanfiction. Also it’s a kind of prediction of how I think the last half of Ep VIII and the beginning of Ep IX might play out. Go easy on me.

She’s been awake for hours.

 

Ever since she felt her brother’s force signature for the first time in nearly eight years, his distress and resilience bleeding through their bond, signaling to her that _something_ was happening; that he was in danger and fighting for his life.

 

Then nothing.

 

She paces her quarters anxiously, waiting for some kind of sign, _any_ sign at all, that he is still alive – that he hasn’t met the same fate as Han. She can’t lose them both. She can’t, she can’t, _she can’t_.

 

Her fears are realized when the alarms begin to sound. Taking a deep breath, she gathers herself and makes her way to the hangar to investigate. All around her, pilots are scrambling to get their gear on, preparing to fight off a potential attack. She catches Jessika Pava on her way to her X-Wing.

 

“What’s happening?” She demands.

 

“An enemy ship has just breached the atmosphere.”

 

Leia furrows her brow. “Just one?”

 

The pilot nods, looking just as confused as Leia feels. It doesn’t make sense. If the First Order had found them, why not send an entire fleet? Before she can dwell on the matter, someone shouts over the chaos.

 

“It’s heading this way! It’s not stopping!”

 

She looks out just in time to see an Upsilon-class command shuttle emerge from the sea of trees nearby and touchdown on the runway. One of the wings breaks off as it drags across the asphalt before finally coming to a stop.

 

 

Her feet are moving toward the wreckage before her brain can register what she’s doing. Poe Dameron reaches it before she does, kicking in the already-shattered windshield and peering inside the cockpit. He stills.

 

“General…” He calls over his shoulder cautiously. “General, you should probably see this.”

 

As she approaches, she’s suddenly overcome with relief when she feels her Luke’s presence.

 

He’s here. He’s weak, but he’s _here_. He’s _alive_.

 

Then she feels another signature – one she hasn’t felt in so long, but knows like the back of her own hand because it’s the one she carried inside her for nine months. As a crowd begins to form around them, she schools her features and finally lays eyes on the shuttle’s Pilot. He’s unconscious; his mask is cracked, likely due to the crash, but there is no mistaking his identity.

 

It’s Kylo Ren.

 

It’s her son.

 

 

 

 

 

 

oOo

 

 

 

 

As soon as they remove him from the bacta tank, Leia is at his side.

 

Luke is in stable condition, but her son has yet to wake from the medically-induced coma they’d put him in. He had sustained a head injury upon impact, though his mask had taken the brunt of the damage. It probably saved his life, though that hadn’t stopped her from having it and the rest of his dreadful ensemble thrown into the incinerator. Elsewhere, the other officers and military personnel were discussing Ben’s fate – a conversation she is not privy to, due to conflict of interest. She doesn’t mind. It gives her a reason, an excuse, to stay with him, to be there when he finally wakes. It might be her only chance if they decide to execute him.

 

She hasn’t seen Ben in person in almost two decades. He’d still been shorter than her then, with awkward, gangly limbs and sharp features that he had yet to grow into. Now he is an adult. A man. A man who has done terrible things, committed unspeakable crimes and yet, as he lies there, she can’t help but still see the little boy he once was. Asleep, he looks deceptively peaceful, hiding the turmoil – the anger and frustration and pain – she knows resides beneath. Leaning over, she pushes some of his hair off his face. It’s longer, but still as soft as she remembers. She used to enjoy brushing it for him, back when he still let her, back before he started distancing himself from them, guarding his true feelings and putting up walls to keep her and his uncle out.

 

How had she missed it? How had they failed him?

 

She lets her eyes wander, examining the scars decorating his pale torso. The majority of them are battle wounds – the one on his face and shoulder are the newest, still raw – but there are others, older ones fading along his arms, that she knows are self-inflicted. These are the ones that hurt her the most.

 

 

 

 

oOo

 

 

 

 

She only leaves his side once: when her brother awakes.

 

He smiles when he sees her, but it’s forced and doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

“You’ve gone gray.” He remarks.

 

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t remind me. And you’re one to talk. That beard makes you look like a hermit.”

 

“I am a hermit. Well, was, until _someone_ tracked me down and pawned a scavenger off on me.” He gives her a pointed look.

 

She scoffs before closing the distance between them and wrapping her arms tightly around him.

 

“I thought I’d lost you.” She confesses. “I felt you, for the first time in years I felt you, and then you were gone again and I thought –”

 

“I’m still here.” He assures her.

 

Leia pulls back, searching his face. “What _happened_?”

 

He tells her. He tells her everything, from the moment Rey arrived on Ahch-to to her training. He tells her about the Force Bond that Ben had unwittingly forged with the girl when they first met, and how he used it to track them down – to track _her_ down.

 

“He wasn’t alone.” Luke says, adding coldly, “His _Knights of Ren_ came with him.”

 

Ben had gone there for two reasons: to kill his uncle, the Last Jedi, and capture Rey. Alive.

 

“I don’t think they were on the same page, because something changed. I felt it. He was already having doubts when he got there. I’m not sure what she said to him, but he turned on them – his Knights – to protect her. Snoke must have sensed it, perhaps he’d already foreseen it, because he sent reinforcements.” A dark look crosses his face. “They took her, Leia. They took Rey.”

 

Leia squeezes her brother’s hands. “We’ll get her back.”

 

“Maybe. If there’s anything left.”

 

“Ben came back to us. You said yourself.” She reminds him.

 

Luke nods slowly, like he agrees, but she feels the doubt festering under the surface.

 

She doesn’t press.

 

 

 

 

oOo

 

 

 

 

Almost a week goes by before her son finally opens his eyes.

 

She’d left his room only to grab something to eat from the mess hall, leaving C-3PO in her stead, when she feels him stir. It isn’t long before his pulse spikes, as panic sets in, and then he’s screaming. She drops what she’s holding and races back to his room, her twin not far behind, freezing abruptly at the sight that greets her.

 

He is up, thrashing violently against his restraints as he attempts – and eventually succeeds – in breaking out of them, leaving angry, red ligature marks behind.

 

Ben either doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care.

 

“Master Ben, you are in no condition to –”

 

Ignoring C-3PO’s protests, he tries to stand, but it’s been days since he’s used his legs and his knees buckle instantly. Leia acts fast, catching her son just before he hits the floor, or tries to – Ben is so tall now, practically dwarfing her. He’s shaking like a leaf, dark eyes wide and frantic. Her hold on him tightens as he jerks against her, more animal than man, blunt nails digging into her shoulders as he fights to free himself from her embrace.

 

“ _ENOUGH_!” Luke’s voice booms out, and much to Leia’s surprise – and to the surprise of her son – Ben stops struggling, just long enough for a med droid to inject him with some kind of sedative.

 

His body goes lax against hers, forehead resting on her shoulder as his breathing levels out and he slowly regains his composure. She rubs his back soothingly, humming something, a song she hasn’t heard in years – a lullaby that died with her planet. It’s only when he’s calmed down that Leia finally lets him go, albeit reluctantly. Ben inches away from her, refusing to meet her gaze, practically curling into himself like he’s trying to make himself smaller. She looks on sadly.

 

“Ben –”

 

“ _Don’t_.” He cuts her off sharply, eyes still downcast. “That’s not – Ben is gone. I killed him. He was weak and foolish like his…” he tapers off, staring into nothingness.

 

“General!” Poe and Finn, and a handful of others – she recognizes Jessika and Kaydel among the group – appear in the doorway. Finn takes a cautious step forward, eyes darting between Leia and her son. “General, are you okay?”

 

“We’re fine. Everything is under control.” She assures him. “Mister Finn, do put your blaster down.”

 

“But General, that’s –”

 

“I know who he is. And what he’s done.” She says icily.

 

Finn hesitates before doing as told and lowering his blaster.

 

Poe places a hand on his shoulder, guiding him away from the scene. “We’ll just be out here. If you need us.”

 

“Noted, Mister Dameron, but that won’t be necessary.”

 

She waits until they’re gone before turning her attention back to the broken man that is her son. After what feels like an eternity, he speaks.

 

“Uncle.” Luke glances over at his nephew, wary eyes betraying his otherwise calm exterior. “He has her. He’s hurting her. I can feel it.”

 

“I know. I felt it too.”

 

“I have to save her. I can’t let him –”

 

“We’ll get her back. But not right this second.”

 

Ben’s eyes flash. “There’s no time!”

 

“Are you that eager to rush to your own death, Ben?”

 

“I’m going to die anyway.” Ben counters.

 

“You don’t know that.”

 

Her son barks out a humorless laugh. “Don’t I? Do you really think they’ll just pardon me and let me go? After what I’ve done? I’ve killed _thousands_. I’ve put entire villages to death, all in Grandfather’s name. I’m a war criminal, and now that I’m awake, they’re going to want my head.”

 

“You’re not going to die.” Leia interjects, unconsciously reaching out to give him comfort. “Not yet. I just got you back.”

 

Ben’s jaw clenches, nostrils flaring. He recoils from her touch like it burns him.

 

“Stop. Stop looking at me like that – like you actually –”

 

“ _What_?” Leia challenges, her own emotions bubbling to the surface. “ _Love_ you?”

 

He stares at her disbelief before reaching up to tangle his fingers in his hair, digging his nails into his scalp like he’s trying to ground his emotions through pain.

 

“You can’t.” He whispers, shaking his head.

 

“Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do.” She growls.

 

“I killed him. Your husband. My _father_.” He reminds her, his voice cracking. “You should want me dead. I’ve destroyed _everything_ you and Uncle built.”

 

Leia sighs.

 

“I should have protected you better. I tried – I thought by sending you away to train with Luke, Snoke wouldn’t be able to influence you. But I should have been there for you too. Really been there.” Instead, the Senate became her first priority, over her family, and now Han is gone and the galaxy is at war once more. If she had been a better mother… so much might have been different.

 

“You’re my son. You did terrible things and you’re right. I _should_ hate you. I hated your grandfather for so long… that’s why I never told you about him, because no matter who he was in the end, to me he would always be the monster that made me watch as my planet was destroyed, as my mother and father and everyone I knew were lost forever.” She hadn’t fully, truly understood how Luke had been able to see the good in Vader until her son had gone down the same path. It was only then that she saw in Ben – a small, glimmer of light amidst darkness – what Luke saw in their father. “We should have told you about him. You shouldn’t have had to find out the way you did.”

 

Ben is quiet for a long time, letting her words sink in.

 

“I saw him. Grandfather.” He confesses softly, prompting Leia to share a startled look with her brother. “He came to me, showed me the truth. I thought… this whole time, I thought I was doing his bidding, finishing what he started… but it was all a lie.” He bows his head, dark bangs shielding his eyes as his shoulders start to shake. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “I was such a fool. How could I have not seen it? How could I have been so _weak_ , so easily tricked – I should have been _stronger_ –!”

 

His breath hitches, and as his walls start to crumble, Leia can feel his every single emotion bleed through. It’s as if a dam has just broken, overwhelming her with his pain and self-hatred. Throwing caution into the wind, she moves closer and gathers him in her arms, wishing she could take it all away. Ben tenses up, and for a split second she thinks he’s going to push her away again. But then his arms slowly encircle her and, clinging to her desperately, Ben Solo cries for the first time in over twenty years.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I keep going?


End file.
